Thought Leaders
Many of you are committed to elevating your own existence. You are consistently or trying to consistently create a rhythm that leads to a rise to committing to a courageous life, to carving out a space and life for a New Normal Mindset. This is not a journey for the weak or one you can go alone.
When you think about your circumstances or moments of trials, or your reckoning moments and see the tribe around you who are the people that are willing and ready to lift you up when you are not able to? How do you open your limits to see where you think you cannot go and make a path to this destination? “When our truth outweighs our fear we will commit to a courageous life.”
New Normal Mindset
I had the honor of being one of the weekend #keynotespeakers at the 2022 Sports Business Journal – Thought Leaders Conference at The Broadmoor Hotel & Resort in the City of Colorado Springs. Thought Leaders is a “by-invitation-only” retreat that brings together the sports industry’s most senior executives for a time of information sharing, dynamic speakers, outdoor activities, and peer-level relationship building. This time with industry executives inspired me to see the willingness of so many to grow their capacity and to commit to a New Normal Mindset. This group truly has a passion for sports, business, and mindset growth.
My question to you is, where are you on the path, and who is surrounding you to help elevate your vision for the future? Are they setting limitations based on what they feel they cannot do if they were in your situation or are they giving you oxygen to thrive in your new environment?
I believe attention is the currency of performance so when we have the wind in our sails we must keep moving forward and surround ourselves with those who give us oxygen.
“Go forth and inspire your world!” -JR
#newnormalminset #transformation #reckoning #keynotespeaker
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We Earn What We Earn
There is a famous 30-second Nike commercial featuring the great WNBA player, Lisa Leslie, titled, “You don’t win silver, you lose the gold”.
When I first saw this commercial I was like, “Yeah!”
But, then after I won the silver medal in Sydney, Australia in the Long Jump at the Paralympic Games, I was a bit more reserved in my enthusiasm about the commercial. I realized that I put a lot of effort into winning that medal.
Truthfully, I understand where this philosophical thinking comes from and why people would consider the NIKE message a powerful one. Everyone wants to win first place. It does not matter if it is in athletic competition, academic rivalry for valedictorian, or business opposition to win a contract; we all desire the top spot.
I am no different. I want to win.
After further review of my own sentiments I came to the conclusion that I no longer agreed with my previous position. I now believe that this statement underscores a deeper problem in sport and our society, which is an “entitlement” mentality.
I believe in sports, as in life, we earn what we earn, and we win what we win. To take the stance that I lost the gold medal at those games means firstly, I discounted the efforts and achievement of the winner, in this case, Lukas Christen from Switzerland. When he won the gold, he was the two-time reigning champion. He won because he outworked, out-prepared, and out-executed me, by 4.5 inches to win his third consecutive Paralympic long jump title.
Secondly, a statement like that discredits the work that I put in to winning the silver medal. And let me tell you, I did a lot of work to earn that silver medal! 20 years’ worth of work.
Let me break down for you why I earned this silver medal. It all has to do with a shifting of focus, the effort in preparation, and the exceptional execution of the goal.
I competed in two Olympic trials in three different sports and was the eighth fastest 400-meter hurdler in the country at the time before the disabling injury the resulted in the amputation of my left leg.
It took me 2 ½ years to get my nerve back to step foot on a track again, let alone relearn how to run with an artificial leg. It was not until my third year, post-amputation, that I retaught myself how to run again. It was not an easy process.
I knew how to train, but I had to figure out my energy system. The energy expended for an above-the-knee amputee is three times that of a person with full limb mobility.
Second, I was ignorant. I did not know what I did not know when it came to the mechanics of artificial knees. For 6 months I was unable to figure out why my artificial leg was hyper extending when I ran. I needed an extension stopper, a piece of metal that stops the leg from going into hyper-extension. I went through three or four hydraulic knees, and 12 weeks of missed training, before a prosthetist from the manufacture told me what was happening.
Third, I was ignorant to the various density of hydraulic fluid in the knee that directly correlates to how fast the knee will return in a running motion. Five days before my long jump at the Paralympic Games, another prosthetist who was watching my practice session told me that I was overpowering the knee unit. In other words, I was running too fast for the knee unit I was using. He called the manufacturer, who overnighted another hydraulic knee with more viscosity allowing me to run faster.
Every athlete that competes in the Olympic and Paralympic games has a dream of winning the gold. For the majority of athletes who are fortunate enough to make it to the Olympic or Paralympic games, that will be the highlight of their career. For a select few, the honored medalists, they will cherish something very few people ever get to experience: having their country’s flag raised in recognition of their efforts and their national anthem played.
Pundits will have us believe the only spot that really matters is the top spot. There is some truth to that. No one wants to be second in a business deal, or be first person out of the job interview, or the runner up in a pageant. But there is a quiet resolve that lies in not winning that pushes one to be better the next time. This resolve is valuable and should never be discounted.
In American society I have seen the entitlement mentality play out in other professions.
One example is youth sports where the attitude is everyone is entitled to a medal. It is almost comical to see this played out in a game of tee-ball or 3 v 3 youth soccer. No one is supposed to keep score. The focus is supposed to be on skill development, friendship, and fair sport. Yet, when the game is over and the kids have run through the parent tunnel. Or, when the oranges or other snacks have been consumed and the mini-vans are reloaded, the very first questions I often hear young athletes and parents are: “How many goals did I score.” Or “how many runs did we get?” “Who really won that game.”
Let’s not kid ourselves, we all keep score.
As an athlete, my thought process was no different. I wanted to win the gold medal. It was not my goal or desire to travel 9756 miles from Northern Virginia to Sydney, Australia and come back with anything less. I do not know of any athlete who goes to a competition looking to win second place.
That is why I believe that “losing the gold” drives an entitlement mentality. The premise negates the work that goes into performance and being satisfied with the outcome of the results.
My ignorance about my new equipment coupled with having to learn how to run again were not easy. Yet, three years after taking my first running steps on my prosthesis, I was the second-best long jumper in the world. I was being honored to represent the United States of America in the Olympic stadium having earned the silver medal! You had better believe that I am proud of that.
My stance is this: We earn gold, silver, and bronze. We also earn fourth, fifth, sixth, or whatever position the result concludes. To say that you did not earn those positions, or that you should have done better, is to say you were entitled to something that you did not deserve or earn.
We earn what we earn.
Life’s False Starts Prove Great for New Beginnings!
I ran the lead off leg for the Arkansas Razorbacks 4x400m relay. I can say from experience that the race is one of the most grueling in track and field. The last 100m is the most painful of the race no matter what shape an athlete is in. Because I knew the pain was coming I used to literally cry before starting for the Hogs!
For those who don’t know how painful this race can be, I suggest going to your local track and, after a proper warm-up, attempting to run one lap, without stopping, at a full sprint. You may want to get a doctor’s note if you’re a
ctually considering sprinting the race — especially if you are out of shape. Believe me, you will cry too! But, please try not to pass out on me — I need you to read my next blog.
The best runners in the 400m dedicate themselves to a rigorous training regime so they are able to run several rounds of races before the finals in large competitions and one of the most crucial points of the race is the start. In general terms the shorter the distance the more important the start becomes. It is critical for the athlete to have the best start possible in order to be competitive. The longer the race the start is not as crucial because the runner can make up more time during the race.
In the 400m, the start is a critical part of the race, although it is less important than in the 100m because it is a longer race and the athlete can make up more time during the race due to the greater distance.
Now on to my story. Christine Ohuruogu, a 400m sprinter from Great Britain, false started in the 400m. This is almost never heard of. She instantly was removed from her lane as per the rules and was unable to contest for the medal in the 400m dash at the world championship race in 2011.
American 1-lap Queen Sanya Richards-Ross stated, “It’s so rare that you hear the second gun in the 400m – I thought it was a malfunction,” she told the BBC. “In the call room we were like, aw man. I’m disappointed for her.”
Consider that Ohuruogu had worked all year to get into form and into the world championships. All of the grueling workouts, all of the months of training, all of the injuries overcome, that led up to this one race were rendered useless because of one false start, in one race.
- She was devastated.
- Her teammates were devastated.
- Her coaches were devastated.
- Her competitors were even sympathetic to her plight, and became more aware of the consequences of a false start.
- The media – “cheeky”
It is so easy to be critical and put ourselves in the shoes of others and say “I would never do that.” But really, how many of us have made a mistake, a straight up boneheaded mistake in life? I know I have. The difference is our mistakes aren’t broadcast to the world for others to judge, as Christine Ohuruogu’s was.
Wouldn’t it be great if we all took the mindset to pick people up when they make mistakes? Recognize the error – yes, but don’t let someone live in that one mistake, forever. Think about it?
- How many of these moments can you change in a day?
- How many people can you help back up?
- What would you do seeing someone at a low point? Would you help them up, like Christine’s coaches and teammates, or would you kick them while they are down like the media at the 2011 Track and Field World Championship?
We all know when we have made a mistake and people aren’t telling us anything new when they talk about our mistakes. They are only restating the obvious without offering any constructive advice. I think a lesson on how to deal with a negative situation and turn it in to a positive is in order.
In his book, One Minute Manager, Ken Blanchard has a section entitled “The One Minute Reprimand.” The reprimand begins with something good the employee, or in this case the athlete has done, before allowing the employee or athlete to articulate their feelings about what went wrong. It is then followed by several things a person can do to correct their mistake and a statement about how they are valued as person despite their mistake. This method of mistake correction is a great tool to have in your arsenal and will help the person reprimanded perform better in the future.
So, back to Ms. Ohuruogu. Even though she was disqualified from the open 400, 1 year later she learned from the error (maybe used it as inspiration) and blasted to a silver medal in the London Olympic Games!
The London papers were ecstatic, less cheeky, Ms. Ohuruogu performed brilliantly through the rounds and then won the silver medal! Despite the 2011 setback she hurdled her adversity and demonstrated the true spirit of an adversity overcomer.
When faced with adversity, you can decide whether to settle into your setbacks, or to roar forward and make the best of bad situation.
I believe low points in life allow for the highest potential and from mistakes we can surge back to triumph over adversity and then we can share our lessons with others to inspire them to greatness!
Go forth and inspire your world!
John
Veterans, From PTSD to Post-Traumatic Growth
Many soldiers returning home experience PTSD — post-traumatic stress disorder. It may take months or even years to overcome the damage that trauma causes to the psyche, yet time and again, surprisingly, we see service members push through
rough hardship and move on to a more productive life than before they experienced trauma. Despite having what society might call a “disability,” these people have soldiered through life and have moved into Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) — loosely defined as a set of positive changes which result from surviving a traumatic experience.
As a founder of the United States Olympic Committee Paralympic Military Sport Program, I repeatedly experienced veterans using sports to overcome PTSD and transition into their “new normal.” I routinely heard exclamations of “I am doing more with one leg than I ever did with two!” or “I sense more without eyesight than I ever did sighted!”
The time I spent with service members in this program taught me 5 key ideas that help a person transition into their PTG.
- Discovery: Discovery of new opportunities, such as sports.
- Connection: Connecting with others who have experienced similar trauma and creating a strong bond with them.
- Resilience: Understanding that there is no “rebound,” but instead taking a proactive step toward achieving your goals, even if that means trusting someone else to help with the process.
- Appreciation: Appreciating that life is still yours to live, and being thankful for your life.
- Commitment: Commit to a process, a system, a belief that tomorrow is better than today.
This Veterans Day, we remember the great men and women who have served and still serve in our armed forces. We also recognize those who struggle with PTSD and want to ensure that programs are in place to facilitate their transition into Post Traumatic Growth.
For a free download of my infographic on PTG click HERE.
John Register
16 Minutes with First Lady Michelle Obama! Part 4 – Final
MEETING #4 – 7 minutes 30 seconds
Alice and I were fortunate to ride from the Hillside community center event in the First Lady’s motorcade to the United States Olympic Committee’s Training Center.
Now, we were NOT in the First Lady’s car, we rode with Senator Michael Bennet another honor in itself.
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/first-lady-part-04-02.jpg” size=”33″ caption=”Mrs. Obama and I speak about a business issue.”]I had not been in a fast moving motorcade since I represented the United States as track and field athlete in the CISM Games in Rome.
The motorcycles leap frog each other to stop traffic and clear the intersections. It is a sight to see as well as awesome to be in.
Once at the Olympic Training Center (OTC) the special guest lined up in a receiving line to take photos with the First Lady. Since I was emceeing the program I was asked to line up with Alice at the front to get our 2nd photo with her.
I was able to speak to her about a few business issues at this point and we chatted for about 2 minutes.
I then went to find a quiet place to review my notes for the opening ceremonies of the 3rd Annual Warrior Games Presented by @Deloitte.
As emcee I had the distinct honor of welcoming all the distinguished athletes from the Army, Marines, Navy, Coastguard, Air Force, Special Operations Command, and the British Military as well as three of four notable guests we had on stage. Mr. Scott Blackmun, CEO of the United States Olympic Committee, Mr. Robin Lineberger, CEO Federal Government Services Deloitte, General Martin E. Dempsey, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs; and of course First Lady Michelle Obama. General Dempsey had the honor of introducing the First Lady.
As I introduced the others on the program to speak I would take the seat of that speaker. I eventually found myself seated next to the First Lady.
She was fanning herself on the stage like she was in an old southern church. It was hot out there. Most people thought she was fanning the smoke out of her face from the lighted torch flame sitting a top one of the mangled beams from the World Trade Center that had not been extinguished, but in reality she was fanning a small bee that had infiltrated the Secret Services perimeter and no fly zone.
When the torch relay began down Olympic path she quickly moved to her cued space to great each of the athletes.
When she came back on stage I remembered what one of her aids had told me. He said, “there are two water bottles under the podium. The one of the far left is FLOTUS’.”
I leaned over to her and said, “First Lady, now they (your staff) told me that the bottle of water on the far left is yours. Don’t try to get it twisted and drink from mine which is right next to it.”
She laughed, “Thanks, good looking out!” she said.
After her remarks, which concluded to the warrior athletes with, “Now, really, I know you’re here to compete but you all be careful out there,” I heard General Dempsey say as I was walking back to up to the podium and passing Mrs. Obama as she was taking her seat, “that last comment had the mother instinct come out of you.”
I took those words and began my closing with them, “First Lady had the mother come out of her with those last words! I began, “Now you all be careful out there!” I gestured point my finger to the crowd. They loved it. The laughter from the Warriors filled the Olympic / Paralympic pathway. But I dared not look back at the First Lady because she might have been pointing her finger at me. Someone later told me later that she was smiling too. Whew! I had just survived a “dig” on FLOTUS!
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/first-lady-part-04-03.jpg” size=”50″ align=”right”]But her words reminded me of how important family is to the healing process of people who are going through change. Families are concerned with the total recovery of their War fighter and they are concerned.
I related a story to the audience about how my wife Alice really stopped my negativity about my own injury and how she really moved my needle in a new direction.
After the First Lady heard those comments and at the conclusion of the ceremony she made a bee line to Alice to thank her for her service and sacrifice. Now, that’s just cool!
So, there you have it. As I stated from the beginning we have a First Lady who is classy, genuine, respectful, intelligent, and who cares her heart.
As I continue to use the words of sports caster Stuart Scott, “Mrs. Obama is cool like the other side of the pillow!”
That is our First Lady of the United States – Michelle Obama.
Thanks for reading!
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/first-lady-part-04-04.jpg” size=”100″ align=”center” caption=”John beams as he escorts FLOTUS off the stage!”]16 Minutes with First Lady Michelle Obama! Part 3
MEETING #3 – 2 minutes
The First Lady was coming to Colorado to open up the Warrior Games an inter-service military sporting event hosted by Deloitte and the United States Olympic Committee for wounded ill and injured service members who serve in America’s Armed Forces. This year there was also an exhibition team from Great Britain.
Prior to Mrs. Obama’s speech at the Olympic Training Center she visited Hillside Community Center to say thank you to the volunteers who were making phone calls over the past weekend on behalf of the re-election campaign that past weekend.
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/first-lady-part-03-01.jpg” size=”33″ caption=”The First Lady came by the Hillside Community Center to say thank you to hundreds of volunteers.”]As one of 35 Co-Chairs for OFA I was asked to warm up the volunteers who had been invited to a special “closed event” with the First Lady, as well as introduce the speakers on the program.
Again, very humbled an honored to do this.
Hillside Community Center in Colorado Springs serves a great need in Colorado Springs but was on the chopping block in the city budget cuts. I am glad the city has kept these doors open to many community members who live in House District 17.
After I finished the emceeing of the event on the main floor of the gymnasium Alice and I were taken upstairs to stand in line with about 60 people to meet Mrs. Obama. She entered the room and all eyes fixed on her. At 6 feet tall the First Lady has a commanding presence. But her humbleness and graciousness extends far above her stature.
I noticed how she took time to listen to each person that was presented to her as well as give them a big hug. I have been fortunate to meet four Presidents and none have been as outgoing as the Obama’s. That last comment does not have anything to do with how well they were or were not effective in office just how genuine a person is.
When it was our turn to meet the First Lady she remembered both Alice and me from the State dinner.
“Wasn’t that such a wonderful event! And John Legend was awesome. We’ll have to do that again sometime,” the First Lady said as she gave Alice a great big Momma Bear Hug.
I really hope we can do that again! I’m sure SHE will do it again – I just don’t know if we will get another invite! And, if we do, hopefully it will come to the right John Register! LoL
We took another photo with her and then were ushered downstairs by the secret service to hear her speak.
When she was announced to the eager volunteers the cheers in the little Hillside Community Center erupted into a frenzied pitch.
She took to the podium and…she took over the crowd.
I was scrambling trying to get my camera out and ready to take a photo when I overheard the First Lady say “And, let’s not forget Co-Chair John Register who has done a remarkable job.”
What…? Me? In her notes?
16 Minutes with First Lady Michelle Obama Part 2
MEETING #2 – 30 seconds
The next night was the State Dinner. I was so excited to attend. I really did not know what to expect. I just heard from all sorts of people that this was the hottest ticket in DC.
I picked up Alice from the Airport and then back to the hotel where we got gussied up.
Both April Holmes and the First Lady were right.
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/first-lady-part-02-02.jpg” size=”33″ caption=”John and Alice on the Truman Balcony.”]Alice looked stunning in the dress she selected. I dressed up in my contemporary tux and put on the new tux shoes I purchased earlier that day.
The reason I mentioned the shoes because they were really slippery and with my artificial limb I had a phobia that I would be in the receiving line and be just about shake the Presidents hand and my foot was slide out from under me on one of those nice expensive rugs.
Can anyone say LifeAlert! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
We jumped in a cab and headed over the 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. The street was jammed packed with cars! We jumped out of the cab about two blocks from the East Side entrance. As we walked down the street a young couple asked us what was going on. And like little kids we said that there was a State Dinner in honor of the British Prime Minister and we were actually invited!
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/first-lady-part-02-03.jpg” size=”33″ align=”right” caption=”Idris Elba stops in the East Wing in the White House for a photo with Alice.”]Alice and I went through the first level of security and guess what? (What John?) Our names were not on the list. So, we were stopped by White House security with about 9 other guest in a waiting area all of those guest assured us that it would only be a few minutes. We stayed in the penalty box for about 20 minutes and then were cleared to enter the East Wing of the White House. At least we were not the last ones in the penalty box.
Upon entering the East Wing we stepped up to get our name tint for our table and to announce our entry to the press corps. But low and behold our names were not there either! So, we were asked to wait again.
The sweat was beginning to roll down the small of my back because I thought this was going in the direction of ala (Tareq and Michele Salahi).
I’m thinking of a line from Eddie Murphy’s Beverly Hills Cop when the LA Police officer state, “We’re not going to fall for the banana in the tail pipe again.”
To make a long story short. We were not even on the this list either! The social secretary thought that we had regretted the invitation. Come to find out there was another John Register who had been to the White House who received my printed invite. You see, I had accepted the email invite and four days later this other
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/first-lady-part-02-04.jpg” size=”33″ caption=”Alice meets President Barack H. Obama.”]John Register regretted the printed invitation. I would have loved to see what would have happened if we both had shown up!
I would have been like Slim Shady!
‘Cause I’m JReg, yes I’m the real Reg
All you other JReggies are just limp veggies
So won’t the real John Register please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
Taken of course with liberties from Eminens’ “Slim Shady” Rap.
Meanwhile, while we are waiting for it to get all sorted out up walks Idris Elba (Movie Star) and Alice begins to flip out because she wants a photo. Mr. Elba is looking at us like I think you all might be the Salahi’s and I really don’t want to come over to your holding pen. But he was gracious enough and obliged my wife the photo.
The social secretary finally sorted it all out and we were able to get in.
In the receiving line I let Alice go first. She shook the hand of President Obama who told her that she looked wonderful and beautiful.
I looked at the floor to see what type of carpet I was about to step on.
I then shook the hand of the President. And he greeted me with that classic smile of his. We exchange some quick pleasantries.
I then saw caught the First Ladies eye who looked at me and must have put two and two together that the lady in front of me was my wife and she remembered our conversation from the previous day and in a down to earth voice told Alice, “Girl, I heard about the issues you were having with finding your dress. But you look lovely!”
Now that is just too cool. Of all the people the First Lady meets, for her to remember a detail like that is just remarkable. Again, down to earth and genuine… (cool, like the other side of the pillow) – aka @Stuart Scott
The Non-Marginalized Father
“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” – Charles Wadsworth
My Dad, Rev Donald B. Register, is one of those men who parallel a vocal, reasonable and silent leader. I am very fortunate to have grown up with a man who was part of the cloth but at all times a father to his children. He parented three boys to the best of his abilities. Though work was often pressing he made sure to catch the Lake Street El from downtown Chicago to make our baseball, football, or track practices in Oak Park, IL. I know it was tough for him to always make it, but It was always a great surprise and a confidence boost to see him peering over the fence or sitting in the stands as I went through practice drills with whatever team I happened to be on at the time.
When I was playing cello with the high school orchestra or singing in the choir my Dad was always a fixture in the audience supporting my aspirations.
I now follow his example with my own family. When my son John Jr. had practice for basketball or soccer, I ensured that to the best of my ability I was there for both the practices and the games. I have elevated that with my daughter Ashley to be an assistant coach on her team. Not a parent to interfere but always to offer encouragement to a young person maturing into her own adolescence. I even enjoyed watching my son Ron play sports the short amount of time he spent in our household.
The older I get the more I understand many of the pressures my Dad must have felt trying to balance work and family. And, I can attest, it is not an easy thing to do.
There is a grave responsibility on fathers who raise their children, but it appears that I find fewer fathers out there who are like my dad and more who disengage with their families. When I sit in the stands I don’t see Mom’s or Dads at Basketball practices, or volleyball scrimmages. I often find myself taking several players home from practice and dropping them off.
I look at caricatures of Homer Simpson or Al Bundy and I see more and more fathers playing the buffoon and the object of ridicule and less of the supportive, nurturing, loving steadfast parent in the home that I was accustomed too.
I know it just wasn’t me because where I grew up I saw other Dads out there supporting their sons and daughters.
Albert Mohler wrote a piece entitled, [1]“Watch out for the Myths about Fatherhood” in 2009. In it he talks about some of the myths that need to be busted such as the, Mr. Mom surge, 50-50 between work and family life, divorce impacts on children, and dispensable dads. I won’t go into any of these in this blog, but if you want to read the article by Mr. Mohler please hit the footnote link at end this blog.
I will rather spend the rest of this article talking about an interview I had with one single Dad who really makes it work for his children.
So, often our society praises single moms getting it done but we do not hear about the super single Dads who knock it out of the park on a day to day basis.
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/robert-caruso.jpg” size=”100″ align=”center”]Let me introduce you to inspirer Robert M. Caruso who goes by the handle @Fondalo on Twitter. Robert is a social media guru and can also be followed on his website www.bundlepost.com.
I caught up with this busy man while I was outside of the Fort Carson Post Exchange. No, he was not there he was in his home state of Oregon getting ready to pick up his daughter and he had a few minutes to chat by phone about how he holds it down as a single Dad.
Mr. Caruso has a 3 year old son who he sees 30% of the time due to Oregon state school laws and a 13 year old daughter who he sees 50% of the time.
I asked him a series of questions and voraciously wrote down his responses. I am paraphrasing.
Me: One myth is that Fathers are more concerned with work than they are their families. With your busy schedule and always being “plugged in” on social media how do you make time for the kids?
Robert: “What you prioritize is where you spend your time. I find myself telling other people this in my business but I have to practice in myself. Most of the job I do keeps me plugged in about 80% of the time, but that time can really be in any physical location. So, I can play with my son on the floor and then get up for a quick answer to a question.”
Me: What are your greatest challenges as a Dad?
Robert: “My 3 year old son needs a lot of attention, more so than my 13 year old daughter who is really self-sufficient. Really, she is very helpful. But my son needs to know I am there for him at this stage.”
Me: 13 year old daughter and self-sufficient don’t seem to go together in the same sentence can you elaborate?
Robert: “I was sitting with her doing homework when she was 6 or 7 and we noticed some teens sitting nearby causing a bit of a commotion. She looked up at me and said, “Dad, why are teens so stupid.” I just said that hormones take over. I have never had a problem out of her. I think that what you invest in your children is what you get out. Kids need love and discipline.”
Me: Do you have any advice for other single Dads out there?
Robert: “My advice is really directed at all Dads whether they are single or not. Men are being marginalized. Society looks at men as idiots or the butt of jokes. You can look on sitcoms. We are played as out of touch or the comic relief.
The impact is that we are diminished in the eyesight of our children and we accept it by walking away and not raising our own kids. My advice to fathers is that we must be involved with our kids. We have to show them that we want to be involved, engaged, and an active part of their lives. Our kids are watching how we act with them and if we get it right, they will repeat it.”
I thank Robert for this interview and his wonderful insights for all of us Dads out here who are striving to be better leaders, followers and parents.
In closing I salute my Dad, Rev Donald B. Register, for always being there for me physically, emotionally and spiritually.
If you are a Dad continue to love your children and ensure they know that you want to be a part of their life.
Happy Father’s Day All!
[1] http://www.religiontoday.com/columnists/al-mohler/watch-out-for-myths-about-fatherhood-11604985.html16 Minutes with First Lady Michelle Obama! Part 1
MEETING #1 – 6 minutes
(FLOTUS) Speaks to youth on getting more active at American University. I’m far left next to Mrs. Benita Mosely
First of all, if you do not want to read any further, I just want to say we have a beautiful, classy, warm-hearted and down-to-earth First Lady in Michelle Obama. To coin a phrase from one of my favorite sports commentator Stuart Scott, she’s just, “Cool, like the other side of the pillow.”
To say I was ecstatic to receive an assignment from my employer, the United States Olympic Committee, to lead a group of Paralympic Ambassadors and assist in the First Lady’s Let’s Move initiative at American University in Washington, D.C., would be an understatement. The fact that both Mrs. Obama and Samantha Cameron (affectionately known as Sam Cam) who is the British Prime Minister’s wife would be in attendance was the real crown.
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/first-lady-01-02.jpg” size=”50″ align=”right”]The event was star-studded. I mean we had 80 phenomenal kids from the great states of Maryland, Virginia and the District of Columbia coupled with amazing athletes like Benita Fitzgerald Mosely (100m Hurdle Champ 1984 Olympic Games) Dan O’Brien (Olympic Champion Decathlon); Lisa Leslie (4x Olympic Gold Medalist basketball); April Holmes (100m Paralympic Champion); Dominique Dawes (The darling of the 1996 Olympic Gymnastics Team); and Kortney Clemons (Paralympic hopeful and Purple Heart Recipient from the War on Iraq); who all volunteered their time to challenge these youth to inspire others to become more active.
And while President Barack Obama and SamCam’s husband, Prime Minister David Cameron, were enjoying an awkward hot dog at the opening of the final four basketball game, we (Olympians and Paralympians) were in the gym at American University leading 80 rambunctious kids through various sports stations.
My day was going great! A) All my athletes were at the gym and on time, and B) I was paired with the amazing Lisa Leslie at the Basketball station.
Decathlete Dan O’Brien escorted Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Cameron through the various sports stations and after the First Ladies were finished with their tour, Dan then called each of us working the stations to come to be introduced.
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/first-lady-01-03.jpg” size=”50″ caption=”JR and Lisa Leslie”]It was Lisa and my turn to meet Mrs. Obama.As I made my way to her I could not help but notice how long, lean and graceful the First Lady is. She is very comfortable in who she is.
Dan introduced Lisa and Mrs. Obama quickly started spilling stats on Lisa to Mrs. Cameron.
Now that’s just cool.
She then looked to me for verification of the facts and though I followed Lisa Leslie’s career, I don’t know all her stats, but like the Eurythmics song, “Sweet Dreams are Made of This,” lyrics state, “Who am I to disagree.”
Mrs. Obama then introduced herself to me. “Hi, I’m Mrs. Michelle Obama (or something of that effect.)
In my mind I was saying, “Like I don’t know who you are.” I was so honored and humbled I could barely remember my own name!
The mood was so warm at that moment and her personality had put me at ease that I decided to tell her about some of the issues I was having.
You see my wife Alice and I were invited to the President’s State Dinner in honor of the Cameron’s visit to America. The official welcome was the next day. I joked with April (the 100m dash champ from Beijing) the day before that Alice had so many dresses in the closet that she could pick from a bunch she had not worn. April looked at me like I was a cross-eyed Billy goat. She obviously did not think that was funny.
April and my conversation went something like this.
April: “Are you really going to allow Alice to come meet the First Lady with something she has hanging in the closet.”
John: “Well, since you put it that way, and with that attitude, and with your neck moving like that, I guess my answer is no.”
So, having that conversation in the back of my mind I greeted the Mrs. Obama. The following is only my recollection of how our short conversation went. It is NOT verbatim.
John: “It is an honor to meet you and thank you for this initiative that is getting kids active.”
Mrs. Obama: “Well, thank all of you for being such strong role models for these youth!”
(She then gave me a big hug)
John: “Our pleasure Ma’am. My wife and I are also looking forward to coming to your little shindig tomorrow night in honor of the Prime Minister and Mrs. Cameron.
Mrs. Obama: “We are so looking forward to it as well. I think it is going to be a great time and we certainly look forward to seeing you there.
John: “You know First Lady you’re setting me back a bit because I have to give the debit card to my wife to buy a new dress. And, she is having problems finding something that works in our budget!”
It was then that I wanted to say in comedian Kevin Hart fashion, “You see my checking account is tied to my savings account…”
To which Mrs. Obama just let out a laugh and a big smile.
Mrs. Obama: “I am sure she will be lovely!”
We had some more pleasant words after that but I don’t remember the rest of the conversation.
Now I don’t know if I should count this next meeting as a second meeting or a continuation of the first meeting? You tell me?
[image-shortcode url=”https://johnregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/first-lady-01-04.jpg” size=”33″ align=”center” caption=”JR and FLOTUS backstage Let’s Move”]After the remarks the athletes were taken for official photos by the White House photographer with Mrs. Obama. We exchanged a few more cordial words and I reassured her I would see her the next evening.
The Hardest Job Everyone Thinks They Can Do
– Written by Dennis Hong
This piece was inspired by a heated discussion I had with a man who believes that teachers have an easy job. Please feel free to share it with others if you agree with the message.
I used to be a molecular biologist. I spent my days culturing viruses. Sometimes, my experiments would fail miserably, and I’d swear to myself in frustration. Acquaintances would ask how my work was going. I’d explain how I was having a difficult time cloning this one gene. I couldn’t seem to figure out the exact recipe to use for my cloning cocktail.
Acquaintances would sigh sympathetically. And they’d say, “I know you’ll figure it out. I have faith in you.”
And then, they’d tilt their heads in a show of respect for my skills…
Today, I’m a high school teacher. I spend my days culturing teenagers. Sometimes, my students get disruptive, and I swear to myself in frustration. Acquaintances ask me how my work is going. I explain how I’m having a difficult time with a certain kid. I can’t seem to get him to pay attention in class.
Acquaintances smirk knowingly. And they say, “well, have you tried making it fun for the kids? That’s how you get through to them, you know?”
And then, they explain to me how I should do my job….
I realize now how little respect teachers get. Teaching is the toughest job everyone who’s never done it thinks they can do. I admit, I was guilty of these delusions myself. When I decided to make the switch from “doing” science to “teaching” science, I found out that I had to go back to school to get a teaching credential.
“What the f—?!?,” I screamed to any friends willing to put up with my griping. “I have a Ph.D.! Why do I need to go back to get a lousy teaching credential?!?”
I was baffled. How could I, with my advanced degree in biology, not be qualified to teach biology?!
Well, those school administrators were a stubborn bunch. I simply couldn’t get a job without a credential. And so, I begrudgingly enrolled in a secondary teaching credential program.
And boy, were my eyes opened. I understand now.
Teaching isn’t just “making it fun” for the kids. Teaching isn’t just academic content.
Teaching is understanding how the human brain processes information and preparing lessons with this understanding in mind.
Teaching is simultaneously instilling in a child the belief that she can accomplish anything she wants while admonishing her for producing shoddy work.
Teaching is understanding both the psychology and the physiology behind the changes the adolescent mind goes through.
Teaching is convincing a defiant teenager that the work he sees no value in does serve a greater purpose in preparing him for the rest of his life.
Teaching is offering a sympathetic ear while maintaining a stern voice.
Teaching is being both a role model and a mentor to someone who may have neither at home, and may not be looking for either.
Teaching is not easy. Teaching is not intuitive. Teaching is not something that anyone can figure out on their own. Education researchers spend lifetimes developing effective new teaching methods. Teaching takes hard work and constant training. I understand now.
Have you ever watched professional athletes and gawked at how easy they make it look? Kobe Bryant weaves through five opposing players, sinking the ball into the basket without even glancing in its direction. Brett Favre spirals a football 100 feet through the air, landing it in the arms of a teammate running at full speed. Does anyone have any delusions that they can do what Kobe and Brett do?
Yet, people have delusions that anyone can do what the typical teacher does on a typical day.
Maybe the problem is tangibility. Shooting a basketball isn’t easy, but it’s easy to measure how good someone is at shooting a basketball. Throwing a football isn’t easy, but it’s easy to measure how good someone is at throwing a football. Similarly, diagnosing illnesses isn’t easy to do, but it’s easy to measure. Winning court cases isn’t easy to do, but it’s easy to measure. Creating and designing technology isn’t easy to do, but it’s easy to measure.
Inspiring kids? Inspiring kids can be downright damned near close to impossible sometimes. And… it’s downright damned near close to impossible to measure. You can’t measure inspiration by a child’s test scores. You can’t measure inspiration by a child’s grades. You measure inspiration 25 years later when that hot-shot doctor, or lawyer, or entrepreneur thanks her fourth-grade teacher for having faith in her and encouraging her to pursue her dreams.
Maybe that’s why teachers get so little respect. It’s hard to respect a skill that is so hard to quantify.
So, maybe you just have to take our word for it. The next time you walk into a classroom, and you see the teacher calmly presiding over a room full of kids, all actively engaged in the lesson, realize that it’s not because the job is easy. It’s because we make it look easy. And because we work our asses off to make it look easy.
And, yes, we make it fun, too.
– Written by Dennis Hong
Write me about your favorite teacher and why! Your favorite teacher might have also been a coach!.
I would enjoy reading your observations and compiling them for a teachers day celebration.
My favorite teacher (Linda Gates hands down) Sixth grade teacher in English who really uplifted my work and put up with my antics.